On Life, love and Politics

"Random musings about Life, love and Politics. Just my open diary on the events going on in the world as I see it."

On Virginity November 13, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — kikenileda @ 12:23 AM

Over the years, I have heard one reason or the other why a woman should
keep her virginity. Mind you, it is always about the woman, never the
man. Now, I’ve never really taken these people seriously and never
really pondered why these people said what they said because in my
experience, most Cameroonian women usually have ‘tasted the goods’
anyway by the time they get married or in any case by the time they
reach their early/mid-twenties.
So, anyway, I was browsing the internet the other day, when I came across this post Virginity until Marriage

To
say I was dismayed is an understatement. I became even more bewildered
as I read on. At some point, I realized my brain refused to take in
what I was reading and threatened a complete shutdown. I actually had
to force myself to keep on reading till the end.

Is this guy
serious? Are we living in the dark ages or what? Does the writer of
this article realize how chauvinistic and narrow-minded he comes
across? It takes two to tango. Are women having sex on their own or are
there no men involved? So why is it only the women who are being
addressed? What is it with always holding the woman responsible for the
ills of society? Get serious.

Virginity in my opinion is
seriously overrated! Yes, I said it. Why is it so important that a
woman remains a virgin until marriage? Who is it hurting when a grown
woman decides to indulge in sex with a man of her choice? Moreover, who
is to say that a ‘virgin’ hasn’t experienced all the joys of sex save
for penetration?

I take great, I mean great exception to the fact
that this writer is trying to tell me, a woman how I should lead my
sexual life. I find it downright disrespectful that a woman’s worth is
judged by whether her hymen is intact or not. We are more than that!
Take heed: It is no concern of yours what I choose to do with that
piece of flesh between my legs. I may decide to do away with it at the
earliest possibility or I may decide to ‘dash’ it to the first man who
catches my fancy or I may decide to keep until I bite the dust. It is
my prerogative.

So, good and fine, you think virginity is a virtue
that should be upheld. No wahala, but how about it should be upheld by
BOTH males and females. Nowhere in this article did I see him mention
that a man should also be a virgin till his wedding night. Don’t you
think it may also be important to some women that they are getting a
‘pure, unsoiled’ man and no ‘old layer’? Or is only something that is
applicable to only men?
As a commentator stated, deciding to keep
your virginity till marriage or till thy kingdom come, should be a
matter of personal choice. It is not something that should be mandated
or imposed on anybody.

Now that I am on the topic, I must say I
find it amuses me when I hear some brainwashed women say ‘I am keeping
my virginity for my husband’. Are you aware that while you are busy
keeping your virginity for this obscure individual, he is busy f.
ucking anything in skirts? So what do you get for all your trouble? If
it is not lack of appreciation, it will be STD or at worst you get a
cheating husband who is not being satisfied at home, because
ironically, you lack the experience to keep him sated.

Let me
make myself clear, I have nothing against virginity as such. My problem
comes with the reasons tendered and the hypocrisy surrounding it all.
How do you explain men being encouraged to ‘sow their wild oats’ and
when women do the same, it causes an uproar. Or the fact that men are
given a pat on their back for promiscuity while women are scorned for
it. You see, someone would say, oh keep your virginity so that your
husband/men will respect you. Lies! Don’t buy any of it. That ‘respect’
will last at most a few hours and after that it is back to business as
usual. Or you would hear some men would say, I want a ‘pure’ woman for
a wife, yeah, right, after having f.ucked the brains out of Manka’a,
Eposi and Senge. To be honest, I suspect all these men who INSIST on
having an innocent and untouched wife are perverts and paedophiles in
disguise. There is something highly intoxicating about violating
innocence. Yes, that is how it starts; from wanting a wife with her
hymen intact, it will be wanting one who has had no sexual experience
at all (think no oral, no petting, no kissing) and where does that lead
you? Yes, to the most innocent in our society: the children.

For
me, deciding to remain a virgin or not has to be the woman’s choice and
her choice alone, without any meddling or manipulation from society.
Neither should a woman be judged by society for her decision.

I
am happy that more and more Cameroonian women have seen through this
bullshit attempt by men to control our sexuality and are expressing
themselves sexually like never before. If some bigoted men think women
being sexually liberated, is the highway to moral decadence that is
their wahala ‘cos there is nothing they can do about it. It is how it
is.

 

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